My love for darkness grows as I also grow older. Finding dark stuff captivating and the light too much.I used to fear the night, now all I crave for is it’s darkness.The sound of gunshots on the TV screen used to scare me, now am captivated by live bullets .The thought of going to high places made me feel high. I had a thing ,a height phobia that now turned into love.When i see so many stairs in a building i smile. I one day said to one that it was a perfect place for murder but i was not thinking of suicide or something I just felt like it. I used to fear all men in black. Now I wear black and relate so well wondering where was I all this time my black love my crush? I used to laugh so much but my smile is limited.I never used to love talking with my eyes but now i think its my best way to get my point across. I think the society also pours some water to this growth too. It also loves black but I find our ways different. We have changed our lives to media lives. We get married though a status then we bond over a chat then expose our feelings in the status. Our behavior sounds too bad but in our eyes it looks good. We are never bothered when friend never visits but we are bothered with the same friend blue and grey ticks. This means our mindset has darkened lost priority. Black is what is termed as dark but our lives are dim. We even cant light them using a candle. I don’t know what type of light each person needs so I’ll go back to my love , black. Something that expresses so much in just one word. I still want to find the truth. Why I was afraid of the dark and now I feel at home when the night draws close. When all lights are put off. This is my comfort zone. The society around me too. Where most people are able to think and act. The problem is what we love the dark for. Anyway this has become my definition. Something am growing in love with and my daily bread. With the help of people around me I get to grow too. When they adorn in black they make me smile but we speak of two different types and never will I want to agree on their side . Am not crossing lanes


Sought Justice

I was twelve when I first saw her
A woman I thought was my second mum
I had so much trust in her
If only I knew
She was jack of all trades
The preachers wife who always had an inviting face
Taking note of me being motherless
She wanted me to taste motherly love
So for lunch she invited me
This was how my flower was plucked into bleeding
Innocent as i was
I ran happily
That same day
The black of all days
I knew only of two numbers
One I was defiled and two shots happened
That exactly explains that I was twelve
I never knew who to turn to
This is supposed to be my suicidal letter but
I am now healing
Getting to understand more of what went down
Other than my self esteem going down
Women ask why would a man be brutal
If the same question was posed to me
More answers could be given
I changed
This made me feel that I had character
A bafoon a racoon a decendant of baboon a goon to die so soon
That’s how I felt
Then the society wanted me to hide my tears
Men don’t cry they said
But what should I do
I couldn’t hold it I wore a skirt and ran to cry
I made sure to cry once and never let that same reason
Force me to skirt
This painful feeling
I had heard of no healing
Boy child girl child
Wouldn’t this word stop making a difference
To some extend that
For one to cry you need to be a girl
A boy child must stay strong
Being a crybaby is no mans bother
You should maintain the hurt
The thought of kale kasichana kasupuu kasupuu sana kasupu kama msupa kwa supa reminds me of Samantha again that’s the name of preacher’s wife
Am not mad at her but still forgiveness doest just happen
When i do forgive her I’ll also forget the society
This wound that she created in me
In that black of all days
The eighth day of my week
That made me weak
This road to healing is teaching me so much
Just one step to teen
Then I saw all sides of her coin
I didn’t dare flip
I was shocked
Am still walking on that change of a road
But I think am over grown
Seen much more
Tears now don’t flow
The heart that I had
Still flows even when broken
I no longer express what I feel
Am so hard a book to judge from the cover
Mrs preacher just so you know
I have reported your case
Seems your known
Saw her singing
Na mwogopa mungu pekee
Mwanadamu kija kuntafash naomba mungu ntetee
Is that what you call being high
I mean she was in spirit but preaching the water
I wish that this case goes my way
Am ready to tell you
That I got hurt
Tell people that its okay to cry
Then finally get my justice
But it will forever remain coded to my mind
That you deflowered me



  1. I love youI take thee with everything I have ever wanted

    To love and to give my heart felt love

    In riches poverty and struggle

    In all love paths

    Trust me I do

    I love you and always will

    When i see you i see a whisper 

    I hear you I hear love in the air

    You are a life gift

    I promise you life eternal love

    But keep in mind strong storms will come

    Am sure them tides won’t get us

    We will be the strongest 

    With honesty and trust 

    With love and hope

    Am now telling you 

    I accept this ring

    And all the handcuffs it comes with

    I say no more

    Yes….I do