What’s up?💆🏾


The views expressed here in are my opinions and I am aware that we all have opinions and they are not always right.

I hope you enjoy this random conversation tho’ 😂. I had a perfect thought out plan but sis is not following her own script!

May was mental health month and I decided to go offline(whatsapp) .On other days id go off social media. The MAY-athon was about positive energy ,intentions ,self care,writing as an outlet.
For any intimate conversation😜
Reaching out ,following my media advocacy you can follow me on Instagram @mutcymouse and on twitter @mutcy8😍💚lets interact.

I observed and learned a lot about me ,mental health related issues ,the youth and also the social media generation.
I'm here to talk about random stuff😂.
With all that said let's start.

1.Mental health is important.

We are not having conversations on mental health because for some its a taboo topic ,for others its because you’ve faced stigma or you’ve had a bad experience. For others its a choice and more .

2.selfcare is essential

Taking care of yourself is a must do activity. I hope you all learn to do it to a level that you are happy and in a good space. That you learn choosing you is not selfish. “You are the most important bag and you should secure yourself”

3.I enjoy creating awareness.

I find joy in creating humanitarian awareness content. Its a blessing being able to. I learn ,relearn and unlearn a lot. I thank my consumers because they are great people. The audience is a family.

4.Sharing links ,posts etc.

I used to share them on every persons inbox and I found that intrusive and draining and I decided to stop. I’ll share the link on my status,stories and tweets and leave it at that. Unless one request to be sent a link I don’t send it. I want this space to be as free as it should be. A choice to follow up on my activities.

5.Whatsapp relationship.

oh well 😂let me address the elephant in the room. Over the years it has been a great app and it still is. People use it for different reasons and they are 99%positive👏🏽

I am more of a lets meet and talk or maybe have a call . Send emails😂😂or anything. With whatsapp I find the app not for me . I have seen people get intentional with it and its a good medium but I am the type of person who will just decide to delete it and you’ll see me on other platforms 🤧sorry.

However I find it funny that most people think you’ve ghosted them if they don’t see you online or see you on other Apps. I find that funny and it triggers me so much because if you really want to talk or reach out there is message and calls before you assume things and that’s on period!

I am not talking about the behavior some people have of going offline to see who looks for you or to measure your importantance. You will break your heart hunny . I do not advice that move anyway to each their own.

in short😂i am not tailored for that app so forgive me if I reply years later(I’m just exaggerating) if i reply late. I reply on message fast and calls too. Im not special ,we just have preference. Choosing to be online is a choice not a necessity I guess. Don’t @me

I want to be more intentional with my Whatsapp space and I haven’t found that place so its something I’m working on and its important to me if I find purpose.

6.Advocacy message.

Mental heath is all matters inclusive. Its sharing love. Its being kind and understanding that we are all unique. Its more . With this said all my social pages are dedicated to share all types of awareness.For me to learn and others too. For information to be shared and for feelings to be let out. Regardless of religion ,gender ,age ,sexuality,social class ,race ,culture ,beliefs and all the different things that make us human.

With this said lets all be kind when we respond,let’s have knowledge before we all share our opinions keeping in mind that they are not always right.

I write this with love !

Yours loving


be the love



Notice bar!
•Narcissism is a personality disorder that has to be clinically  diagnosed.
•Do not self diagnose because you will always have every disease you come across and take tests.
•Do not call anyone that you had a relationship with and it didn’t work a Narcissist.

Short form Bar
NPD- narcissist personality disorder.
I may use this a lot in my explanations

There are different levels of Narcissism. We all have some narcissism in us but its good. In order to be labeled a N* you need to be on the extreme end of the bar .
I’ll create a scale
1-10.(we are all at 1-2 but that’s okay. A N* might be at 7-10 that means they are on the extreme .A clinical psychologist can diagnose through a series of tests. Its not as common as people think. Only 1%of the people have NPD.

Types of Narcissist

  1. Masterson’s subtypes.
         ( Exhibitionists and closet )
  2. Millions variations
  3. Other forms :
    a). Acquired situational narcissism
    b). Codependency
    c). Collective or group narcissist
    d).Conversational narcissist
    e). Cultural narcissist
  4. Parental narcissist.
  5. Narcissistic leadership.

Characteristics of narcissist

They are charming at first but its until you know them well that the traits start to appear. Notice that Narcissism can apply in both  genders and in introverts as well  .They are obsessed with appearance .Can be generous for people to think good of them.

2.Emotions .
They lack emotions. This person is not empathetic or dismisses how you feel. They feel rejected if criticized. They respond to critic  with anger .They will humiliate and shame people.

They don’t define relationships. They may have many reasons why .Some will expect special treatment. They rarely maintain a relationship. They panic when you try to go. When you fully make up your mind to leave they lash you down. They bad mouth you and give the story in their favor

They hog conversations. Dr Angela Grace says that they will often exaggerate their accomplishments,achievement or importance
They are jealous and expect special treatment..They have an appetite for attention.

They think that they are always right. They want external praise. They never take responsibility of their wrong or they give reasons.

6. Manipulative
They manipulate you .They abuse you emotionally .They spew lies,falsely accuse you and spin the truth. They enjoy hurting people. They want you to fear them.

7 .Communication
They have a trouble communicating. They think that they are always right. Can’t be emotionally open. They think rules don’t apply to them and they can get away with anything. They dismiss your views and often use But.

8.Don’t have any ( or many)long term relationships.
This person will tend to find a group stir fights and go to another .They then end up looking for childhood relationships or old friends to refriend .They trash talk people. They have casual relationships.
p8Q.1.How does person C treat someone they don’t want anything from?
p8Q. 2Do they have long term friends?
p8Q. 3 How do they talk about their enemies .Do they talk about their enemies?

There are many points on the traits ,Tests are done clinically tho. This is only to give you the information .If you think you are one or you know one (see a psychologist)

Remember when dealing with a narcissist you have one choice of leaving because you deserve better .If you choose to stay keep in mind that its not you nor them its a condition that happens with triggers ,Narcissism can occur under high levels of stress.

In any choice pick whatever is best for your mental Hygiene.

Thank you so much for reading till the end. I hope this is my last kind of this vibe article. We all need some sunshine right now .
I hope to bring it next time I write.


*most opinions in my blog are mine and that doesn’t include the outside world. I welcome any addition,critic and comment.

Thank you!
Bye April

Sun flower !


Hello,I hope you are doing okay and staying safe💚

I know this is not what y’all want to hear. You might be asking why would I choose to talk about TOXIC people. Since we have sometime to spare lets use it to Filter our circles. Lets know who is an ACQUAINTANCE and who is a FRIEND.


Don’t use this as a weighing scale,this is for you to add some knowledge.

Let’s begin💃🏾😊

We all have our toxic traits and we choose to either work on them or reflect them on our environment. Some of the traits affect us and some affect the people around us making them stay away from us.

Use this formula

Toxic +Toxic =repel. Toxic +positive = attraction.

That means if you are a positive person you will tend to attract toxic people because they feel at home with you.

Characteristics of TOXIC people


This people will lie about everything even when there is no need to lie about stuff .They exaggerate and are overly dishonest.

2. Eventful Narcissists

They will always take the show away from you. They always talk about themselves .They interrupt your conversation with issues about them. They prove their worth and steal your light

3.Emotional Drainers

They are always sad (if someone is sad don’t call them toxic) and negative. Can be categorized as always pessimistic. They tend to think that everything is impossible. They doubt you and your plans and dreams. You are emotionally drained after being with them. You feel sad and depressed around them.

4.Drama Attraction

This people always start fights. They love being in an environment that is not healthy and everyone around is dramatic. They expect you to always take their sides even when they know they are wrong. They will not allow you to correct them. You cover up or hide stuff for them. You are affected by their drama.

5. light conversers

This people will always talk about superficial stuff.They never engage in positive talk. they never talk about thoughtful stuff. This people will talk about cars but won’t want to know about why you didn’t sleep.

6. You feel like you need to save them. Remember you are no savior. You can only point it out and let them work on it.

7.You cover up or hide stuff for them.

8. Judges and Negatives.

They always judge others and it comes of as jealousy , criticism and Gossip. They are unreasonable .This person makes you gossip or be mean.You feel like you have to impress them. hu


•set boundaries with them

• Do not feel the need to impress them

•Do not share info with them

•Tell them the truth of the matter ,don’t sugar coat their wrongs. Be polite in correcting them

•Say no to what you don’t believe in

• Spend less time with them

There are more ways.

Distinguish your friends and acquaintances. Don’t term an acquaintance as toxic because they don’t offer why you thought they would bring to the table . They are not your friends!


Remember you are important and your mental health comes first. You deserve to be happy and to be in a green environment. Tomorrow is not promised. Learn to say No and stay away from TOXICITY!

With love ,Mutcy💚

For any communication. Find me on my SOCIALS

@mutcy8 on twitter and. @ mutcymouse on IG.

Bye,stay mentally hygienic!


I wrote this because my mind wanted us to dream!

I have filled my head with the perfect man of my choice,
He is not tall dark and handsome.
He is an explanation of my perfect imperfections.
He drinks his water in the AM’s and takes a bath in the PMs’s
He loves reading books ,already even before we’ve met.
His music taste is bitter sweet to my soul.
He has not come to my life to be a Psychologist not a healer neither the source of my joy .
That is for both of us to work out.
He is my business partner in matters emotions ,finances ,physically ,mentally.
This is a 50/50 ownership and we love each other as siblings on some days.
On other days we talk about our shares in the market of life. On some days we are birds,we sit on strings attached by love.
This is Gods timing ,they say in a generation full of insecurities,overthinking and every little big thing we cover ourselves with prayer.
We understand that we can be wrestlers but the rings in our fingers help us to figure out we are together till death do us part .
The man of my dreams is not wealthy neither poor he is just where his pockets are supposed to be.
He knows his journey and his key to communication is knowing his highs and lows.
He plays play station and not with my thoughts.
His favorite color is blue and he likes his eggs fried.
He knows my belly will be different after childbirth but we will work that out together
He knows I don’t like sugar and I know as equal or more about him
Just like little children believe in santa ,I believe in him


P.o .box 101
Dear .
Hello this is not normal for me to write . I am supposed to talk to you but I can’t. You have been in my head and my environment is changing.
I want to tell you what’s going on.
I’ll break it down to teams.

  1. THE ONES.
    This are people that already having it hard and are sick and also tired of how tough things are. They are in a window of emotions because their physical doors are closed. Some have watched their sunset for the last time. Some have loved .
    This team is living life. Anxious because their Immune can’t take it. Their minds are weighing a lot. Nothing seems to be ok. They just want to let go.
    •heey its okay to feel. Allow your emotions to be .
    Find ways of being positive.
    3 .THE HOPE.
    People that are creating to do lists. That are praying. That can see future. That can hope for better days ahead.
    •its good to be positive. Keep up kings and queens.
    4.THE LOST.
    They don’t know what is happening and maybe this is safe . This team has children,elderly ,unborn ,street people . They are in spaces that think that life is resting and it will still be ok.
    •”at this time I wish I was a child and my thoughts wouldn’t be like this
    5.THE WORKERs.
    This team is active. For all types of causes.They are busy doing the most .
    •its good to be busy but please rest when its time.

    There are many teams but I wrote those ones that are close to whatever is close.
    Then there is A. And B.
    A. This are people who are enjoying this moments with their loved ones. Who are living the moment. Telling people they love them. Calling to check up on them .That are happy amidst all this and its very okay. Creating strong bonds . The universe is giving them a chance at love
    •lovers experience all this bonds together. Make memories this time. Get to know your young family. Your partner and other people in all those relationships.
    This are the people my heart goes out to.
    •families that are fighting and hurting in this period their are people who are tired of life not because of whats happening but because of how they don’t have the family love. I’m really sorry and I hope things work out.
    Some don’t have families to go to or to stay with. Anyone able to find a family or any family willing to take one in is a blessing
    •For some its not the safest place. Its a place that’s lost
    •heart broken . This can be in so many forms . From relationships to workships to any kind of social settings.I’m sorry you are healing in a sick space. You’ll be okay. Wear all nice and not all sad. Smile and binge watch some show . Learn to love yourself new.
    •Singles. Don’t allow this period to rush you into a relationship because you are bored or lonely. Take time to learn yourself. To date yourself before you allow someone to.
    Mental health💚
    Your mental space at this time is so important . Find activities at home that help you not think negative.
    Not feel negative.
    This can be the best time to learn,relearn and unlearn all those positive and negative issues .
    I hope your mind will be at a safe space and you’ll work hard to ensure that happens.
    💚BE 💚SAFE💚
    “I hope ill wake up and find a healed world sooner than I think”♥️

Yours through my eyes


Let’s catch up

I won’t do any apologies today. I’ll just start.
Beginning of the year I promised to fill you up on my activities and everything.
Its been a high low medium space .
Let’s do a weekly or events or whatever you might call it😂.
First event was my birthday ,yeeey you must think I was happy but no sis was scared but I added a plus and I thank God for this far.
The next week I had meetings left right center and it hit me adulting is not what I thought of. I thought it was waking up and watching the tv without destructions. It was drinking water and staying healthy. It was smiling for all honesty. Adults didnt get tired or scared. They have clear skin and and not worried. Are ever happy.
Now😂im starting this journey and I’m just
Learning,unlearning relearning stuff. Feeling ,unfeeling ,refeeling and a lot more.
The other thing that happened is I begun some of my 2020 projects and plans.
I did a Mental health shoot with @farmside media and also met with a great consultant that was a highlight.
I have had around 5 talks on mental hygiene around my community and its really a big thing for me .
I am gaining the strength and pushing my social skills up.
The talks are on issues related with Men and the youth. Let’s skip this it will be a blog on its own.
I’m going on a hike too. I’ll have it to clean my mind and start on new ideas since it has been crazy and I promised to tell you about me this year.
I’ll write about it next time .
I’ve been listening to vlogs
Kenyan vloggers are IT for me this year.
Pages like
Engage talk has stood out for me. This is my daily devotion and it opens my eyes mind and heart in ways I love and appreciate.
I have been listening ,reading and researching on this word.
I thought I’d add it to my
Yearly words which i didn’t tell you but they are (specific ,create and explore) I’m doing anything based on this words and they really help. I know it’s only February and 2020 for me is an edge.Leaving certain spaces and having the time to sit down and plan is scaring me. This leap year better leave me happy😕.
With my mental hygiene I’m bathing not daily tho I won’t lie. I have had a little lows that hit me but the highlights are many.
something I noticed about self .
We all need to take care of our selves. What we feed our minds.
Points I noted
1.Rest is so important than a lot of the things . Take time off your normal routine.

  1. Love yourself.Loving who you are at each time means that you can accommodate love from your environment.
  2. Learn to say NO.This is one of the toughest things to do but hey, learn. I am too
    4.Filter. Filter what comes to your space. Filter your emotions filter your thoughts.
    5.Selfcare take your self out on a picnic,date or whatever and talk to yourself
    It sounds weird but it helps
  3. Find an outlet .Talk to someone,Pray,walk journal ,work out and many more
    I’m done now
    Have a nice time
    Remember to stay mentally hygienic.
    If worse gets to worse call me and I can sing for you and we will decide what’s worse.
    The sun will set and we will try again
    With love😊
“love is not the absence of other emotions “

More intimate?

I hope your last weeks of 2019 were what you worked and wished for. I’m just checking up on you.
How is your mental health?
How are you feeling today and those past few days?
I’ll be back fully with a lot of new content.
I hope 2020 is the year we all see the other side of the coin.
The year we make choices and not feel like shit.
Maybe I’ll try to fill you in on my life this year.
Tell stories too
Get many guests as possible.
I hope that you enjoy whatever I write
For any communication you can email me at
I love you. I appreciate you for reading my work aka my online diary.
Thank you and be blessed
Let’s travel through my eyes via my heart.



At our age all we want is peace. Most of the time we look for it everywhere and we never stop for a moment to see if we are peaceful in the environment we are in
So i think going back to the drawing board and secluding oneself is needed . To reset and to know who is who.
Avoid having a lot of people around because you search for the one or that crowd that is perfect find your perfect imperfection and live. The only thing that will happen is you will cut and add and vice versa. Sit and ask yourself

1. What do I want to receive

2. What do I give.

3. What is the advantage ( as much as we ignore there is either financial,physical,emotional,digital and a lot that comes from any type of relationship)

4.Disadvantage( if they out weigh the advantages let the relationship slide)

We could stop calling people fake ,we could avoid being called fake. Its a matter of knowing which personality works for you and what traits are your kind.
This fake or being let down will always happen.
We can stop it if we would accept our wrongs or accept correction or correct.
We are in an era which wakes up to broken expectations and we could embrace our diversity and in this case I don’t mean be blind to oppression or treat people badly.

We pick up new ppl we drop some of the old it’s growth .Some new relationships are worth and some old are just done . At times I believe that God sets a time for someone to be in your life. Maybe its forever or for sometime
Don’t get bitter get better.
At times people are just feeding the lust of being loved or finding someone who really gets you. But it comes as a cost and if you can’t keep up then thats where frustration comes in.
Relationships are at a cost.
unpopular opinion
•you meet a friend and you grow close but they do stuff that does not align to your belief.
•you have a friend but as you grow they develop into characters you don’t like
• in other cases you develop new beliefs and you feel like it’s time to move on ..

~this means you either accept them how they are or let memories be and move on
its said that you could meet someone now and they’d be better than someone you meet a long time ago
Time is not a factor when it comes to peace in a relationship.
Toxic traits
We all have toxic traits but I guess we should learn not to reflect them on people.
We also have to accept people as they are too.
There is diversity and that is what makes us human and we complete each others puzzle.
As friends,family and any association.
••be ready to associate ,resociate ,unsociate••
Lessons that life has to teach us each day as well grow.

As you step into 2020.
•Feed your mind with positive energy. Maybe thats why situations go left just because we have too much energy put into bad shortcomings.
•Try being positive and pick up yourself when you fall
Try being sad for a day not a whole period (not that being sad is bad ,plus I understand that we all heal different)
•learn to let go easy with no hate or bitterfeelings
• Accept situations and find solutions

😌i thought I’d say bye2019 officially. End of monkey business.


Hello everyone🤗
I know its been days since I was here. This piece is the last piece of 2019.

Its dedicated to Audrey ,a friend and a sister who has lost important people in her life this year. Dedicated to everyone else out here who is dealing with death.🌹

For the souls not with us anymore ,may they rest in peace. For you who is dealing with grief may you find peace too😊

Death on it’s own is a journey and healing from it does not mean that you did not love or you don’t miss the person . This is a new journey of lessons . Of knowing how to live minus another person and its the same as a toddler being told to walk into the world. Out here nobody heals like the other because scars are different. Accepting death and starting to live without feeling sorry . This is like medication. Its personal and pain that can’t be shared. Do what you have to to not feel hurt. Cry if it makes you feel kinda okay. Punch a bag. Look at memories. Do what you have to do to come into acceptance. I won’t say I’ll be here for a shoulder to lean on. I’ll tell you to be your own hero. To stand up and fight. I can pray for you,with you. I can hold your hand and do anything in my will to be there but it takes the person to find a safe place.
You are the one who knows where it hurts and allowing it to heal is part of allowing the person to rest in peace.Maybe it has hit you when you were facing other bad days.

Maybe the deceased was your only hope. Your best friend,sister,mother,father,brother. They were and still will be important.

I hope you find peace. Those days when you will wish person was around but you should learn that they are not around. People around you will understand your pain for the time they are supposed to but you are the only one who knows that its not limited. Take your time to heal and accept. Don’t be mad or question a lot. Let your mind be free from thoughts holding you hostage.
I’m really sorry they died and I hope you don’t have a rough journey understanding how to deal with death.
Be strong even though you might be at the verge of shutting down.Its okay to shut down and wake up again when you feel you can .
There will be moments but how you handle those moments will be the key to a safe emotional and mental healthy space in your life.

To those times you will miss them .

I also don’t think they are happy when you are sad and they can’t wipe your tears.

Be strong FAM.
Thank you for staying around and always reading this articles I always write. The are my 3:00am thoughts and I know they are all messy but thank you for reading.
You are awesome and loved and I’ll be around to listen to you and offer a shoulder to lean on😊
You are important and you come first

Merry Christmas and a healthy mental place in 2020⚡💚

I wish a new stronger version of you in 2020

2019 was about healing

2020 is personal and is about being you fully and understanding the power in your hands💞
With love


Burial right?

“Life is a story and the book will close”

On salt and sugar,in match stick or birthdays and burials ,like this in rich or poor they made me believe in love of one another.

Hey,apart from everything left that reminds you of me
I would love it if my casket goes down before the ceremony.
The speech should be made after the community has sat down
Am not disrespecting watu wa town
But,my kijiji people have fed me physically you could see my body was built like them . They have taught me basics.Take me back to my roots
My pastor taught me ways of the lord i understand spiritual growth is longer than a weight loss journey. Allow him to officiate my day.
My next door jirani has my back forever and always
On salt and sugar,in match stick or birthdays in rich or poor they made me believe in love of one another. They have held my hand and helped me cross busy roads.
My shopkeeper has always ensured i read the newspaper and im upto date with the current past and possible happening. Reasons why I did not lack the diet
So allow my kijiji people to have the first seat. Where the sin won’t be too loud on them.
They moulded me earlier before i could come to the city where i started with foundation on my face that was to build what girls know.
Now my city loved ones.
I love you and always will.
Let the burial begin.
This is not a suicidal letter i just felt like i wanted to talk in my own burial.
Read this message
Dear love(pets)
You’ve been worlds biggest lesson to me i know although they are reading this you will not hear them but hey,you taught me that animals love truly and im wishing you all the best in your quest
If we never fought and came back ,if loved each other or maybe the world brought us together oh well bye. We have had greater moments than this i believe so
Light your candle do not cry.
Smile away as my memories wont fade away
Life continues.
You’ve fought battles now rest a while and go back strong the world aint sugar
I know you are the first people to get my story at first hand ,today is not that day when you didn’t draw,didnt write
Today is that day that your favorite work went up.
Lets keep doing what drives us tells the world who we are.
I believe ,
Blood is thicker than water
I love you .
Finally now i am able to let the ones that breath get a breather
You can continue after they have read what i had in mind
I know i shouldn’t expect you to understand because someone said no or less expectations
Fare thee well,
To most people life is as important as death. I’ve seen people loose their loved ones and that was not a good story to tell. From people they knew ages ago at times of their birth to people they have known just the other day.
It pains one to start learning how to live with a minus one. No matter how short or the zone of the relationship .
It takes time to heal this type of hurt. To accept that they are no more. To forget how life was when they were around. To see memories and stay strong. To see people looking like them and pass. To have dreams that relate To them.
This is a different struggle.
Each day sounds like a recent to whoever is alive. I know this is the most painful scar. Most scary story to tell. Written on ones heart and signed by tears.
I hope you get the kind of peace that you deserve. You who is left because its right you earn healing but forever they live in your hearts
Rest in peace ♥
To those who have lost their loved ones
😊one love♥