IT STARTS WITH US-BOOK

Today I am trying something different. I am doing a book review. I hope you like my review system Hunny.😌

The book is It Ends With us ,by Colleen Hoover.

My heart🥺

Disclaimer.

The views expressed here in are mine .This is not a therapy/healing or self diagnosis channel.

I know some of the views are theoretical because I can’t really talk about marriage as much .

For any victim of gender based violence please reach out to 1195 for assistance or send me a message for further communication (@mutcy_ on all social media platforms)The link in my bio is a mental health service toolkit as well.

verrrrrry fast.

Habari? Uko chonjo? How are you ? I hope Umekuwa fiti? leo itakuwa safari ndefu buckle up .Kuna spoilers kama hauja soma pole mpenzi.

Watch/listening Recommendations.

• This thing called marriage – you tube.
• Crime and Justice on Show max
• Joyride podcast.
• How long will I love you a song by Ellie Goudling
• Strange by Celeste.

Closure is not really something that comes fully from the other party.

questions to ask.

What is love?

How was it natured?

What are your boundaries,non negotiables?

What happens if someone goes against your principles?

What are your needs and wants ?

Is it love ,lust or escaping loneliness?

What baggage do you carry?

What parts of you are you working on?

How has your environment and social media influenced your opinion and idea of love,dating and marriage?

My thoughts on the book.

When I saw other reviews I was eager to see why everyone was talking about the book and how it broke their heart. It did break my heart because I couldn’t stop being sad and thinking about all the people that directly relate to the story. I send virtual hugs. From Lily Blooms parents marriage to her own marriage and divorce ,loving Ryle and her heart belonging to Atlas had me picking both of them. I loved Ryle .This doesn’t mean I support his actions because I believe trauma is not excuse for bad behavior.

as much as he did all that he reminded me that love isn’t the absence of wrong .He leads me to asking; Do people change? If they do what indicates they have or their change is honest? Ryle deserved love as well.My heart was broken when Lily left him but that was the best choice. Sending hugs to all Ryles out here.

Atlas and Lily’s love

One time they were cute love birds closing their eyes and being in their own world. Looked like trauma bonding for me at some point. However I love how they loved.

The book shows us the effects of GBV,how it looks like and how it shapes someone who is exposed to GBV.

Talks about Mental health issues on suicide,bullying,self harm,GBV,rape and triggers.

Statement thoughts.

The importance of parents reaction on issues affects a child’s thought.

A parent silencing GBV shows a child that it is okay to bottle up.

Where do we draw the line when someone has done us wrong? When do we know we are explaining their actions to ourselves so that we understand them?

What have we accepted in pursuit of love? Or escaping loneliness?

All pregnancies are not the same.

Some people don’t want to be married and it is okay

Sometimes we are someones hope and light and we never know. When Lily “saved Atlas”

Hunny jar

Hunny I want you to know that its okay to love. To want to he loved and even describe how that looks like for you. I hope nobody love shames you.

Hunny you can miss them ,miss the memories and experiences it is okay but going back to people who hurt you is self harm.

FAQ:

Should I leave? Hunny regardless of what answers you get leaving is your own choice.I hope if it is the right thing to do ,you don’t do it when it is too late. If staying is I hope it is the right thing.

Plus there is nothing new under the sun, most cases are unique but the storyline is not different.

What I highlighted.

• “But I am too comfortable right now to be on the rooftop alone with a strange man in the Middle of the night”
• I feel like everyone fakes who they really are ,when deep down we’re all equal amounts of screwed up.Some of us are just better at hiding it.
• No one is exclusively bad,nor is anyone exclusively good. Some are just forced to work harder at suppressing the bad.
• It should be a lot harder but the more I am around death the more it just becomes a part of life.
• I just didn’t want to do it because I feel like eulogies should be delivered by those who respected the deceased.
• A lot of people refuse to admit they might be too selfish to have children.
• But love has never appealed to me.It’s always been more of a burden than anything.
• I could never sleep with someone if I didn’t see it going anywhere.
• Taking blame that isn’t even hers to take.
• I don’t even know how to play cards but when my parents get into fights,shuffling cards just calms me down sometimes and gives me something to focus on.
• I was a bit relieved when my father became too I’ll to physically hurt my mother.
• But then I realized I’d be using the same excuses my mom uses
• I go to school everyday and internally complain about it most of the time but I’ve never once thought that school might be the only home some kids have.
• I had never seen my father lift a finger in the kitchen
• As much as I hated him most of the time,I still longed for more of these moments with him.
• I hateful that I was being nice to him.
• Please be quiet while you take me ,dear.
• Things that hurt her just get swept under the rug,never to be brought up again
• I don’t hear Ryles voice this time.All I hear is my fathers voice.
• I feel if I don’t find a way to forgive him,I’ll somewhat be placing him for the resentment I still hold for my father.
• So bad that he didn’t even want to live anymore.
• Imagine all the people you meet in your life(…)sometimes the waves being with them things from deep in the bottom of the sea and they leave those things tossed to the shore.
• I don’t go to church .I mean ,I read the bible when I was younger,but I don’t know answers to any bible trivia questions.
• It hurts so much,Lily.I love you you so much
• And while I am still angry at him, I also still love him.
• I’ve been in therapy since I was six years old ,but it is not my excuse.
• Humans aren’t perfect
• I am still fighting my own forgiveness.
• I’m supposed to be the strong woman my mother was never strong enough to be
• I am my mother
• People spend more time wondering why the women don’t leave. Where are all the people who wonder why the men are even abusive?
• I cry so hard I don’t even make a noise.
• Maybe those vows weren’t meant to be taken as literally
• Look at me ,sweeping shit under the rug just like my mother

the other highlights will be on my tweeter page.

I hope you don’t get to this point.

In the end.

People want love,want to give love and receive love and not feel a negative type of feeling about it.

In Lily’s words

My mother went through it.I went through it. I’ll be damned if I allow my daughter to go through it .I kiss her on the forehead and make her a promise.”it stops here.With me and you.It ends with us”(Karibu nilie🥺🥺)

Atlas

‘You can stop swimming now Lily.We finally reached the shore.”

meme☺

thank you for reading.

Asante sana❤.

Remember to comment ,correct and share for intimate conversations hit the dms🥳

Wiki njema ,Hunny🌻.