2:00 episodesSinglehood?

Heyyy ? How are you ? Long time. I decided to do this post after I wrote a tweet on Normalize being Single which had different reactions. Follow me everywhere at (Mutcy_).

lets get ready to rumbleeeeeeee!

Introspection.

Its been more than a year. I decided not to talk to anyone and build the relationship I have with myself . Here are some of the things I have learned,unlearned and relearned.

1.Trauma/healing/mental health.

In a relationship personal healing is important. Being able to talk about your mental health with your partner is important. Share your journey. We have been brought up in different environment and its good to know that boundaries and being trauma informed is important. Do not bleed on someone who didn’t cut you. Un dealt with trauma is transferred trauma. Its possible to be projecting your trauma or even trauma bonding. Healing is a personal responsibility. People support your healing journey. We have childhood wounds. Be patient with yourself and your partner . Unless someone decides to take up the responsibility to heal it will be easy for you to be trauma dating.

2. Why.

Its good to ask yourself why you are in a relationship . Is it love,lust ,infatuation,like? What is your selfish interest. What are the boundaries ? Am I dating them because of society/squad?

3. Needs /wants

If someone is a potential partner ask them what are their needs ,wants. How can you love them in their love language. How to apologize in their apology language. What things speak to them emotionally , physically ,sexually ,mentally, financially. Share the same and be honest about it. If both of you can’t meet each others needs then its okay to let go . No beef.

4. Intentionality.

Invest in the relationship. Work for it so that it can work for you. Cultivate habits that improve your union. Spend time doing intentional activities. Be in it and have in mind its something that is a work in progress.

5. Review.

Take time to evaluate what works and what does not . What needs to change and what needs improvement. In case of an issue do not rush to blame each other; deal with the issue at hand. Communicate ,comprehend then respond. Do not act in anger .What are the boundaries ?

6. Identity.

You are a human being on your own. Spend time alone. Do other activities that speak to your heart. Unless you have a relationship with yourself its hard for you to relate with others. You have friends ,family and other groups work on those relationships too. Be comfortable with or without the person.

7. Self awareness/selfcare

This is important. Being comfortable with being with someone or not. The journey never stops. Work on yourself. Self awareness and care is not bathing ,masking only. It is good diet, accountability ,responsibility,healing,exercise, being able to know when to leave a situation ,when to understand,when to be patient,what are your toxic traits,what parts need more love what needs to be worked on. Sometimes you might be the one at wrong. Remember to eat your fruits ,drink water and stay safe.

8.communication.

Talk about what makes you happy,what makes you sad. When you are busy, when its not working ,when its working. Talk about how you feel about certain issues. Do not send signals . Listen Observe Verify Engage(L.O.VE). Sometimes all one wants is a listening ear.

Reletionships are one of the core causes of mental health issues. Romantic relationships too

There are so many reasons for single hood. Remember being single is not a crime. Normalize being single. Do not make people feel a type of way. For some its a choice it is not in your position to decide .I’d like to know why are you single ?

I hope you are taking care of yourself in all aspects. Love and light

Mutcy_ on twitter and IG.

Email. ( mutcy1871@gmail.com)

Bye🌻💚